You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
