I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
