My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
