You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
