Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
