Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
