after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
