this beer tastes like vomit already
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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