im drinking this country out of the recession.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
