I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
