Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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