I wannas sexs uuuuu
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
