we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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