Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can't turn off my feet"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Two words: blizzard sex
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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