We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
