on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
