There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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