My first STD was from a foam party
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
