Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
