How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
