Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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