craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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