I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Be still, my beating vagina.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
