Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
