marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
