Nicole vs. Life
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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