She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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