Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
