i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
ttyl tear gas
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
