Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We're too hungover to prance.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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