I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize