it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
