is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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