I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
