I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
