Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
