I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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