Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
