Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
