i don't like sucking hair
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
