Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
