How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
