your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
