I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
