and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
