I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
