question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
