I want to have your abortion
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize