He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
