Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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