I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
