i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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