If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
