I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
