Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
