I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
