if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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