i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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