Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
