Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
