I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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