so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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