you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
