the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
