I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
