one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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