At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
